I have never been much of a goal-oriented person. Instead, I tend to let things unfold. I realize that my happiness and self-worth are not tied to achievement. However, I still want to achieve. I want to do good work, even great work. It would be wonderful to publish a short story, for example. Or sing and play guitar again at an open mic. I’d also like to challenge myself career-wise, maybe by taking on a new role or by learning a new skill. When I am fairly content and calm, I don’t think a lot about conquering new agendas. It’s when I am angry or frustrated that I make decisions, often impulsive ones, to change my life. The older I get, the more I can see this pattern and recognize that I am being influenced by emotion. I don’t act as impulsively as I may have in the past.
I had surgery on Tuesday. Now I am at home recovering. This is a chance for me to think about my life goals. Who knows how much time we all have left? I am thinking about my career, about writing, about tackling new challenges.