Category Archives: Relationships

New England

It looks like we are probably moving to New England this summer. Jim is from the Boston area, and his family is there. He is going to look for jobs in Massachusetts, Connecticut, Upstate New York, New Hampshire, Southern Maine. Hopefully, I can find a job in the area as well. I am really looking forward to this phase of our relationship. It’s exciting!

Thinking Big

I’ve decided that I need to think bigger. Fear has often kept me back from expressing myself as I want to, trying things that are hard, being my true self. I guess I’m afraid of being misunderstood or making mistakes. As I get older, I find myself getting more upset when things happen that are outside of what I expect. I’m not sure why that is. Maybe I want to control things as much as possible in my life. Having breast cancer a couple of years ago increased my need for control I think. Like I write down everything that I eat every day. And I get worried if I don’t exercise five times a week. These activities do help me feel more in control, but I am beginning to lighten up a little.

Uncertainty

Life is full of uncertainty right now. I guess it always is if you think about it. Jim doesn’t know where he is going to find a job. I don’t know what, if any, new job opportunities are going to materialize for me here. We don’t know where we will be living in a few months. I don’t know what kind of job I will be able to get in a new location.

This uncertainty in my personal life parallels the uncertainty in our country right now. President Trump has issued executive orders that affect every aspect of American society. People are outraged. I am outraged.

In the midst of this all, I stick to the things that are important to me: love, friendship, family, truth, beauty, knowledge, nature, spirituality.

Moving (Again)

My boyfriend, Jim, and I are moving some time in 2017. He is finishing up his PhD dissertation and is looking for jobs in the Northeast. We want to be within a 300-mile radius of Boston because his elderly parents are there. I am really looking forward to this change. The process will be both exciting and nerve-racking, I’m sure.

A Sense of Community

Jim and I moved from Morgantown, WV, to Bridgeport, WV, in July. Morgantown is a college town where we had several liked-minded friends and acquaintances. Bridgeport is a pretty little community that seems very focused on families and children. I am all for that. However, Jim and I are unmarried and childless by choice. We live in an apartment and have pretty liberal views. Therefore, I struggle to feel like I belong here. Recently, I started taking a yoga class that a co-worker is teaching. This has helped me feel more connected as several of my colleagues also take the class. And the workout is great.

Anniversary

Yesterday was Jim’s and my five-year anniversary of being a couple. We’ve been through a lot together. Me being a widow, his stress in graduate school, my brother’s suicide, his father’s operations, my cancer. There have also been a lot of great moments. Like the wonderful hikes we have taken, the weddings we have attended, the good times we have had with friends. This year promises to be an interesting one, with change almost certainly being the main theme.

Morals

So far, I have not written about politics here. However, I can’t ignore the sexism any more. A political candidate for President of the United States was caught on tape objectifying women and bragging about being able to “grab them by the pussy.” Wow. To be fair, I am also very uncomfortable with Hillary Clinton’s alleged attempts to discredit her husband’s accusers.

Is anyone moral any more? Or is that passé? Of course, there are many everyday people who are in committed relationships based on fidelity. I am definitely not a saint, but I take my commitment to my boyfriend very seriously. It seems to me that some people are wired to grasp whatever feels right at the moment. Hollywood, advertisers, and the media often seem to feed these impulses. I am a consumer of these forms, and I don’t believe in censorship. Yet I try to be cognizant of the effect that movies, shows, and advertisements have on me.

I try to just “do the next right thing” as my 12-step program suggests. If I think about it, the right thing is often pretty clear.